Goooooooaaaaalllllllls.

As another birthday crests on the horizon, I sit back and think to myself about what I have and haven't done with my life, and why haven't I done the things I want to do.  So I made a list of all the goals I've had in my life, and where I am with them.  It is not a big list. 

1)  Get my letterman's jacket.

This was my first real goal in life, and I accomplished it fairly quickly, lettering in both track and volleyball.  My school was small, so yes, it was boy's volleyball.  I would have liked to try wrestling and football, but we didn't have either.  I assume I would have been great at them, based on one wrestling match I had in gym, and the other time I caught a football.  Of course, once I got my jacket, I quickly abandoned all sports to work at McDonalds and drive awesome cars.

Right?  Right?! 

2)  Join the Air Force. 

I've made a terrible mistake.

And here is where my goal list always seem to stops.  I mean sure, there are small things, like getting  a degree, a job, a house, etc.  Those are all nice, but I always kind of assumed they would be par for the course, not anything I really had to work for.  But now I have a real goal, something that I will hate to try to achieve, but want it all the same. 

It's time for me to lose weight.  Again.

Several years ago, I started doing p90x and everything was going quite well.  It was the worst, but it was the worst in a good way.  But then I fell, the details of that accident lost to time, and in hurting both my knees and hands, couldn't continue.  Falling out of my habits, I fell into disrepair. 

I've reattempted to start an exercise program several times since then.  What usually happens is that I decide that I'm going to do some walking, but first I should have a celebratory last Burger King meal.  And then I'm too tired to go walking.  I'll do it tomorrow, and to celebrate I'll have a pizza!  An entire one.  Because food.  Unfortunately it's raining now, so next week definitely!  And to celebrate, this weekend I'll buy a cake, since I never eat cake (I really don't) and this will be my last chance to have one! 

I don't know who Sarah is, but fatty wants food.

So here I sit, thinking about taking a nap because the pizza I ate is making me sleepy.  Although it is eight at night, so maybe I'll go to bed early.  Because tomorrow morning I have to get up to start running around the track!  After a celebratory pancake breakfast.

Missed Chances.

Life is funny.  If we were always cognizant of missing the chances that were right in front of our faces, we'd never have any regrets.  Unfortunately, we decide to skip that concert, that because traffic into Chicago is just too much to deal with tonight, and I have school tomorrow, and Blind Melon will be around forever.  

But they never stay around.  All the bands we thought would make us jump around like idiots, all the comics that we thought would make us laugh out loud, they're gone before we get a chance to see them.  People we thought we'd grow old with, disappear without saying goodbye.   

This is the world we live in.  And we have to make the most of it while we're here, otherwise we're just wasting the life we have.  There are cemeteries full of people who'd love for a just a tenth of the life that we currently do nothing with.  But honestly, what are we to do?  We have to go to work that we don't doing, to support families we don't always appreciate and to buy things we often take for granted.

But isn't that life?  Should we be regretful for doing the same thing that everyone throughout time has done before us?  The best we can hope for is to make our life a little more meaningful than the one that came before.  Maybe we can be a little more nicer, a little more empathetic.  And maybe that'll get carried on down to the next generation.  Or not.

I'm just sad that I missed seeing Blind Melon live.  And Alice in Chains.  I still have a chance to see Chuck Berry, but at 90, am I sure I want to see him?  Of course I'm sure.  I'd be an idiot not to.  It's Chuck Berry!  The king of rock 'n roll, which is arguably my favorite form of rock and/or rolling!  

The point of what I'm saying is that if you have the chance to do something you've always wanted to do, you should take it.  And if you have the chance to do something you've never wanted to do, you should take that too.  Because you never know what you'll regret in the future.  I'm glad I saw Iron Maiden in concert in 2013.  I don't know how much longer they'll be able to tour.  I hope forever, but that can't really be the case. And it was everything I could have ever wanted from a concert.  We just have to take the moments that pass our way as we're able.   

I don't miss Drowning Pool though.  I hope that doesn't make me a bad person. 

One day I'll think of a better title.

So I've already mentioned that my brother is in town for a bit.  He enjoyed the cake by the way.  That was a call back that only my most dedicated readers can understand.  Anyway, he's in town, and works from my house during the day while I'm off at work.  And since I drive around all over the state, the odds of me being close by at any given moment are not great.  Now that the foundation has been laid for my story, let's get to the plot.

Today my brother locked himself out of my house.   

He didn't just lock himself out either.  He locked himself out, and locked his phone and keys in.  Now any normal person in any normal town would walk over to the neighbor's house to use their phone.  But not in my town!  My town is on constant vigil against all threats, domestic and foreign.  So when my brother walked over to my neighbor's house, they refused to help this stranger, who was obviously robbing or shaving something without permission.  Not only did they not answer his knocks on the door, but when the open window next to the door showed them watching the television, they pretended they didn't exist.  I mean, if babies can't see you if you cover your eyes, it stands to reason that by pretending to be a statue, you will look like an idiot.  

Better an idiot than unsafe though!  So that's one neighbor that has my back.  I was sort of afraid their weird kids had killed them anyway, so finding out that they hadn't was a relief!  Secure!  

The next neighbor came through on foot, and my brother was quickly able to accost this gentleman, denying him access to the "Statue Stratagem".   My brother explained his situation, how he didn't have a phone, and just needed to contact someone so he could get back into my house.  The stranger, seeing straight through my brother's ruse, shrugged his shoulders and continued walking to the park, a park I now dub, "Freedom Park."  

He's now been safely contained to the outdoors for an hour and a half by this point.  I think he's almost ready to leave the state and go back to all his awful, no good friends.  But then he lures a nice, old couple a few doors down from me.  Swayed by his silvery-forked tongue and promise of riches, they allowed him use of their phone.  Which didn't have long distance.  But did that stop my brother?  Absolutely not!  He was in now!  He wasn't about to let some meager technological hurdle prevent him from achieving his dire goals.  The wife gave him a cell phone to use, which had hardly any battery life left.  Wiley right?  We could only hope.  Upon seeing the state of the phone, the couple gave him their charger, which my brother took to my house, plugged into an outlet (illegally I might add), and started making calls. 

Eventually he got a hold of me after two hours of being stuck outside.  When he finally did, I was only ten minutes away anyway.  So...I'm not actually sure what he was able to accomplish, or even what his goals were.  Perhaps my town isn't secure, it's just that the villains don't really aspire to the long-term.  Or short term.  What exactly was I going to do for him, anyway?