So I've already mentioned that my brother is in town for a bit. He enjoyed the cake by the way. That was a call back that only my most dedicated readers can understand. Anyway, he's in town, and works from my house during the day while I'm off at work. And since I drive around all over the state, the odds of me being close by at any given moment are not great. Now that the foundation has been laid for my story, let's get to the plot.
Today my brother locked himself out of my house.
He didn't just lock himself out either. He locked himself out, and locked his phone and keys in. Now any normal person in any normal town would walk over to the neighbor's house to use their phone. But not in my town! My town is on constant vigil against all threats, domestic and foreign. So when my brother walked over to my neighbor's house, they refused to help this stranger, who was obviously robbing or shaving something without permission. Not only did they not answer his knocks on the door, but when the open window next to the door showed them watching the television, they pretended they didn't exist. I mean, if babies can't see you if you cover your eyes, it stands to reason that by pretending to be a statue, you will look like an idiot.
Better an idiot than unsafe though! So that's one neighbor that has my back. I was sort of afraid their weird kids had killed them anyway, so finding out that they hadn't was a relief! Secure!
The next neighbor came through on foot, and my brother was quickly able to accost this gentleman, denying him access to the "Statue Stratagem". My brother explained his situation, how he didn't have a phone, and just needed to contact someone so he could get back into my house. The stranger, seeing straight through my brother's ruse, shrugged his shoulders and continued walking to the park, a park I now dub, "Freedom Park."
He's now been safely contained to the outdoors for an hour and a half by this point. I think he's almost ready to leave the state and go back to all his awful, no good friends. But then he lures a nice, old couple a few doors down from me. Swayed by his silvery-forked tongue and promise of riches, they allowed him use of their phone. Which didn't have long distance. But did that stop my brother? Absolutely not! He was in now! He wasn't about to let some meager technological hurdle prevent him from achieving his dire goals. The wife gave him a cell phone to use, which had hardly any battery life left. Wiley right? We could only hope. Upon seeing the state of the phone, the couple gave him their charger, which my brother took to my house, plugged into an outlet (illegally I might add), and started making calls.
Eventually he got a hold of me after two hours of being stuck outside. When he finally did, I was only ten minutes away anyway. So...I'm not actually sure what he was able to accomplish, or even what his goals were. Perhaps my town isn't secure, it's just that the villains don't really aspire to the long-term. Or short term. What exactly was I going to do for him, anyway?